My first official NaNoWriMo is at an end! I “won,” but I don’t feel like a winner. I know I am just for working on one WIP every single day this month and writing so much, but since I lost all passion for this WIP, it doesn’t feel like a winning experience. Oh, and I didn’t even finish a first draft. I don’t know how much more is needed (not a ton more, but still), or if I’ll ever finish this one.

Initial Wordcount + ChapterCount:  36,601 words and 11 chapters (+ some work on a scene ahead I skipped to)

Current WC + CC: 50,250 words and chapter count no longer relevant because I wrote in a crazy, skip-to-scenes-I-want-to-write-most way. I even wrote the last few chapters despite there being so much missing in between. (Btw, my official NaNo stats say 50,019 because the counter is different, I guess. But I’ll stick with Word’s word count since that’s what I usually do.)

WIP Issues this week:  I did a bit better this week than last week, mostly because that “50k” goal was in sight and I found it easier to skip ahead to the scenes that seemed like they’d be most fun to write than to plod on chronologically. However, I was still sad that I wasn’t feeling the love for this manuscript. And I knew I was producing a mess by skipping scenes. Still, I figured out some sticky plot points even in this jumbled way I might not have otherwise.

What I learned this week in writing: I can produce something in the write-every-day-even-if-you-don’t-want-to way, but if I don’t have the passion for the project, it’s a struggle. I have written two projects I really loved every step of the way, even through all the edits, even through first drafts (which I wrote pretty fast because I loved them!), so it’s not just a “all writers hate their stuff at some point” thing going on here. I’ve hated most of my works, but not the ones I’ve put my faith in and shown other people. This one is sadly in the “this is not a good one” pile.

What distracted me this week while writing: Not too much. A little work earlier in the week. Two Thanksgiving dinners. 😀

Last 200 words: Spoilers, but also I’ve gotten too embarrassed by this manuscript to share.

And… I continue on to the WIP Marathon for December and January! Blog post coming up after this one.

Who else participated in NaNoWriMo? How did you do?

Wow, I was a lot more optimistic and confident last week. This week, not so much. (My 4th and final check-in will happen on Saturday next week, btw, the last day of the month.)

Initial Wordcount + ChapterCount: 26,137 and 7 1/2 chapters

Current WC + CC: 36,601 words and 11 chapters (+ some work on a scene ahead I skipped to)

WIP Issues this week: Oh boy. You can call it burnout or the fact that I started panicking a bit when there were some days I couldn’t meet my minimum goals (see, feeling I “have to” meet certain word goals by certain deadlines might not be a good idea), but I’m not happy with my manuscript anymore. It could also be working outside of genres I’m used to (my first NA and my first straight-up contemporary with nothing that couldn’t happen IRL going on), too. But I feel like the passion isn’t there anymore, and I’m just finishing it because I’m tired of not finishing projects. (I have three manuscripts I stopped writing but don’t want to trunk forever, either…)

To be more accurate, I never felt “passion” for this one like I have with works in the past, but I didn’t dislike it either until this week. I don’t feel like “Oh, I’ll fix it in rewrites” is a thing here. The execution is just not matching anywhere close to the idea I had in my head, and I don’t think there’s a better way of doing it. It just is what it is… And it’s bland.

What I learned this week in writing: I can certainly not love my works even after finishing two manuscripts I do love. (And I could pump those out really quickly because I felt passionate about them.) This is not a good sign, especially going into the last week. I’m determined to make it to 50,000 words just to say I properly did NaNoWriMo once and “won,” but it might be a struggle. I’m also worried because I’m quite certain it won’t be finished at 50k or even shortly after that. If the month ends and I take the break from writing I desperately want to take, how am I going to convince myself to go back and finish the first draft?

What distracted me this week while writing: Lots of work and appointments.

Last 200 words: Can’t share due to spoilers.

How’s it going for all of you so far? (Whether you’re participating officially or doing your own thing!)